Bout of self-loathing or something

I guess I’ve picked the wrong career
just one more time.
A needle in a haystack: I can’t discern this bad decision from any other.
I’ll make it again.
And again.
And again.
Until I stop making
(Seemingly) hopeful proclamations
about finally finding a path.

Until I stop dejectedly thinking,
“You assholes are WRONG to assume I won’t see this thing through.”
Those assholes
Always right.
Placing bets on the undefeated pony.

It’s dawning on me
slowly like the sunrise.
I’m basking in the beautiful fact that,
lo and behold,
the universe
didn’t
choose
me
for anything at all
after all.

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