I feel like there’s no way I’m going to get this job making $27.50 an hour and I almost feel like I wish I’d never heard about it, because making over 50 grand a year would solve most of my problems.
It’s a lot like how some part of me instantly wants to push away anyone I’m interested in now, like this is all the culmination of the world turning me hard. The bitterness stealing my sweetness.
I’m afraid I’m going to latch onto every girl who pays me the slightest amount of attention, shows me the smallest acts of kindness, because I’ve been so mistreated in the past and women are just so damn easy to love in the first place.
I’d rather download Tinder again and act emotionally stunted about it just because I ~feel~ some type of way and am so afraid of being hurt and rejected that I’d rather hurt myself before someone else can again.
Smart? Or becoming everything I hated?