This made me die laughing inside.
Some of my options:
“Alcoholism, Part VII”
“Didn’t See this Coming Either”
“Impulsive Behaviors are Less ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ with Age”
“99 Problems; A Bitch is at Least Several of Them”
“Believe It or Not, I Have Learned My Lesson (Until I Once Again Prove that I Haven’t)”
I may have gotten trashed and told nearly every stranger and acquaintance who would listen all about how I got dumped, but I didn’t tell a single stripper about it.
I’d call that a victory.
A year ago today, she sent me “Church” by Gary Clark Jr.
Earlier that day, she’d turned red and said “you’re making me nervous,” just because I touched her at work.
She’d been chasing me so hard. She adored me so much.
I can function like a normal person by day, fueling myself on anger over all she’s done wrong, but by night… I know the road to getting over her is so far from nearing an end.