Not literally you

What I mean to say before (each time) I’m overcome with weakness  is, “It’s ok for you to put your needs first; it’s just that I must do the same. Thusly, you are not what I need right now. You are counterproductive to my happiness.” But see, my humanity would cease to exist without you. You are what I anticipate. You are the shift in my mood. 

I am weakened on both sides; I am too weak to let go or to hang on. So I dangle in this cross breeze where you hurt me, by accident, and I allow myself to feel stupid for wanting. 


Lurker. Troller. 

Please tell me you, also, sometimes sicken yourself by looking at social media accounts of people you hate 

I, personally, find it always makes me hate them even more.

Police presence

One day while I was living in Berlin, some friends convinced me to smoke pot in a local park. Eventually, it became evening, and I had to get myself home. Certain subway stations would decrease the times they picked up at night. Once I reached the nearest station, I missed the passing train, which meant I had to wait about 30 minutes for another.

As I sat on a bench staring at the wall in a stoner-stupor, a man with a suitcase followed by a policeman with his giant German shepherd darted past me. The man was tackled to the ground and arrested for drugs, I assume.

I was totally freaked out and too high to be sure if my reaction to the event would seem normal… Or if it was obvious that I was a criminal, too.